a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
