Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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