I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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