i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
