Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
