I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I currently don't understand fingers.
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