Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
