the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
As shirtless as possible
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
