Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize