Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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