She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
