let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
