Acid is not a monday night drug
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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