but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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