I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
