Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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