omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
