Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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