First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
