I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize