Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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