Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
there is glitter all over my balls
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