How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize