yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
