do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
