I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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