I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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