wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize