Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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