he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
