so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
