he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
