How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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