yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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