Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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