I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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