rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
