why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
