i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
