READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
