he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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