I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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