Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
