I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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