No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
