Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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