my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
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