I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think people are normalizing furries
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
