there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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