I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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