Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
