Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you had me at cake vodka
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
