The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish i was in the wii world.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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