i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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