how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
