Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we're making bets on your personal life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I supernannyed him into submission
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
