Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am naked and annoyed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
