What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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