And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize