You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
