he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
