I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We are all done wearing pants today
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
