like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
