She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
