Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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