9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
