Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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