yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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