And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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