Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize