I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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