I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
